Kokutei Renkinjutsushi
by KatYoukai
Summary: A fic completely spawned of crack starring an unusual pairing of author on author. And a couple FMA piles. No plot at all. If you're still interested, read the author's note for the first chapter. I suck at summaries.


PLEASE READ THESE NOTES BEFORE READING!

1) IF YOU DO NOT LIKE YAOI, YURI, PILES (pairings with more than three people in them), OCs, or OOCness, GET OUT. NOW.  
2) This is not RoyEd. The pairing will grow larger as the story progresses.  
3) The main pairing is not with FMA characters but OC on OC... or rather, author on author. So far it's Lina of BlackMercifulFaerie and Legend Birth no Renkinjutsushi  
4) THIS THING HAS NO PLOT WHATSOEVER. Yeah, it was done only for fun. And my beloved seme and uke xD  
5) OOCness is bound in the near future. You have been warned!  
6) This doesn't necessarily follow the anime or manga storyline. For all I know, it'll likely jump in and out of either. Or both.  
7) The title of this fic is subject to random spontanious name changes.  
8) Kokutei Renkinjutsushi means national alchemist. I'm not entirely sure but I believe it's the term used in the anime.  
9) I might jump from term to term (e.g. nii-san to brother, taisa to colonel) every once in awhile. Please, bear with me.  
10) I you are okay with all of that then, go ahead, enjoy.

And of course. Thank you very much to Lina (BlackMercifulFaerie) for beta-ing this!

And just for reference:

_Lina Wolfe: BlackMercifulFaerie_  
_Aquila Animi: Legend Birth no Renkinjutsushi_

Uhm... yes I think that's it now. On with the crack!

* * *

_Title:_ Kokutei Renkinjutsushi  
_Author:_ KatYoukai  
_Pairing: _All I'll say for now is that the two decided pairings are piles. That's all I'll say for now ;)  
_Rating: _T ...for now...  
_Word Count:_ 1020  
_Warning: _This was touched upon in the notes

_Disclaimer:_ I own the world. Therefore I own everything on the world including FMA. Yes, I own you too.

* * *

"C-colonel…"

The black-haired man smirked down at the blond beneath him. It was hard to take his eyes off the boy. Those silky blond locks and captivating honey-coloured eyes. Not to mention that well-toned chest.

Edward's flush turned a shade deeper at the Flame Alchemist's traveling eyes. As Roy began to lean closer, he got a boot violently shoved in his face.

"You pervert!" The small blond yelled.

Roy Mustang smirked again and drew back, obsidian black eyes never leaving the boy's face. As Edward began to sit up again however, the older man placed a hand against his chest and pushed him down again.

"Hagane no…" Closer… closer…

"COLONEL MUSTANG!"

Roy twitched. Ed blinked and looked up.

A young woman was standing in the doorway with a stack of papers in her arms and a rather irritable expression on her face.

"Colonel," she said sharply, though sounding somewhat exasperated. "How many times need I remind you that it is prohibited for you to consort in this manner with your subordinates?"

The Flame Alchemist sighed and turned to face her, "What is it Lieutenant Wolfe?"

The brunette snorted and placed a stack of papers on Roy's desk, "I was just bringing you the papers for the upcoming Kokutei Renkinjutsushi Meeting."

After setting the papers aside, the woman saluted her superior and walked out briskly.

Edward blinked, "Who was that? And what Kokutei Renkinjutsushi Meeting?"

The black-haired man shrugged, sorting through the papers, "Lieutenant Lina Wolfe. She was newly transferred to Central a few days ago while you were still at Xenotime. She's here to take the State Alchemist Examination after the Kokutei Renkinjutsushi Meeting. Speaking of which is a gathering for State Alchemists that the new Fuhrer set up as a yearly event. So, you'll be meeting a whole lot of State Alchemists this month. There's been a lot more since the exam was made easier by the new Fuhrer. Some of them might stay permanently positioned here in Central too."

The blond cocked an eyebrow, "What's the point of that?"

Roy snorted, "The new Fuhrer is an incompetent. I have no clue. Now then… where were we?"

* * *

Callused fingers pulled back cinnamon coloured curls in a casual ponytail. The teenage Amestrian girl sighed as she stepped off the train, suitcase in tow. The train ride to Central had left her sore and aching. It was hard being cramped up in the same position for so many hours—_especially_ hard on her backside.

"Well at least this Kokutei Renkinjutsushi thing only comes once a year," she mumbled to herself.

Seventeen-year-old Aquila Animi, the Legend Birth Alchemist, had just passed the State Alchemist's in autumn. It had not even been a year since then. After passing, she had been assigned to Eastern Headquarters and now here she was, back to her birthplace again. Her naturally curly, copperish hair—confined in the jaunty ponytail tied up at the crown of her head—swung back and forth between her shoulder blades as she looked about, her hazel eyes scanning the crowds from behind her blue-framed glasses.

An escort eventually came and soon enough the teen found herself standing in the courtyard at Central Headquarters. The entire courtyard was filled with State Alchemists and a few soldiers here and there. Looking around the place, the girl felt her pride at passing the examination dissipate a little. There were many others bearing the State Alchemist's Silver Watch there that were far younger than her and many more even older. Of course, it seemed she was the only female State Alchemist there however—although there were some women officers in the courtyard—but that certainly didn't make her feel any better. If anything, it wounded Aquila's pride more.

"Excuse me. Are you the Legend Birth Alchemist?"

The girl blinked and turned around to look down into chestnut eyes. Although the woman was obviously somewhat older than her, the State Alchemist had to look down a little to look at her. She was shorter than Aquila by only about one or two inches. Not that the teen herself was all that tall. She was only 5'4".

The woman's brown locks were worn short, brushed behind her earlobes and just barely brushing shoulders. Her hair was somewhat wavy but it was hard to tell, being as short as it was. From her skin colour, it was obvious she was of Amestrian heritage although her speech had a light Cretan accent to it. Brown rimmed spectacles balanced on the bridge of her nose, just barely framing those warm chestnut orbs.

"Yes," Aquila replied simply.

"Ah," The woman gave her a respectful salute despite the age difference – usually military soldiers seemed irked at having to talk to a young girl the way one would to their superior officer even if she was just that, "My name is Lina Wolfe. I'm a Lieutenant stationed at Central. We're going to be living under the same roof for a while since we can't stay at the dorms."

The Legend Birth Alchemist blinked. "Why?" she questioned.

"Well, as you can see, all the State Alchemists that came here for the Kokutei Renkinjutsushi Meeting are men. I had to be moved out to make room in the dorms for them and seeing as there's only two female State Alchemists, the higher-ups have put us in a residence outside of Military grounds. Since we're going to be living under the same roof for the next little while, I'm supposed to show you your temporary residence."

The cinnamon-haired teen nodded her understanding although mentally she was crying in outrage, _Sexists!_ Little did she know that Lina was thinking just the same thing as she followed the older woman out of the courtyard.

* * *

_Ding-dong._

Lina shifted from foot to foot subconsciously as they stood waiting. She wasn't that social a person and she wasn't all too happy with moving in with two complete strangers. One of said strangers was currently standing beside her, hands on hips, looking rather uncaring for the situation. Figures.

No sooner had she rung the doorbell did the sound of shuffling feet and an indiscernible voice meet their ears. Moments later, the door was pulled open.

* * *

Kat: Ah finally got this thing out. (bows) Gomen nasai Lege andLina! I have no excuse for this taking long besides me being lazy. The author's note didn't turn out as big as I thought. Although I honestly thought it wouldbe longer. But I'm swamped with so much to do.

Kage: If you didn't do so many fics and stuff all at once you wouldn't be in this mess.

Kat: Not just fics! Fanart too! And homework!

Kage: Even worse.

Kat: Just die already -.-

Kage: And you've been watching Gravi when you should be working.

Kat: But I finished the series in two days! D

Kage: (claps) Congratulations, you've succeeded in being a lazy ass and sitting in front of the laptop two days straight watching gay anime and reading gay porn.

Kat: Bu--

Cher: (slams the door shut) Eh... if you read the rant this far, I think you deserve a cookie. 


End file.
